It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
