It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
