Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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