if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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