She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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