Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
