The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
