You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you told grandpa to call you daddy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
