Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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