so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.