Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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