some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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