Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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