just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
