should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
