Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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