no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
