weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She bit a glass in half.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
