Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize