so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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