I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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