I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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