he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
