god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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