Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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