Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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