so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I die, sorry about rent.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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