Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
