I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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