I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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