Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
