I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
