Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
