How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
