I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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