So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
