fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize