Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize