You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
