Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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