Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
