SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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