I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
high people should be assigned attendants
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
