Cold hands, warm shart.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The air was thick with penises
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
