I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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