Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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