Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize