why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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