that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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