two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
