i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i drank out of a bidet.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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