Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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