No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
