whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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