well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
